


At the End of the Road

by spaceyfish



Series: Sad Art Online [1]
Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Multi, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26207347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceyfish/pseuds/spaceyfish
Summary: Takes place at the end of War of Underworld Season 2 Episode 8. Spoilers! Not meant to be canon compliant.Asuna dealing with the fallout and Kirito's resolution to keep going. Eugeo and Kirito through Asuna's eyes.
Relationships: Eugeo/Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito, Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna
Series: Sad Art Online [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903291
Comments: 9
Kudos: 64





	At the End of the Road

Asuna was originally waiting under cover just in case anything further happened. Ever since she had arrived in the Underworld there had been nothing but fight after fight after injury and it seemed the enemies never stopped coming. 

It was an emergency, she knew, to get through the gate, to log out and go back to the real world. But she couldn't leave Kirito here alone. 

Asuna had this feeling.

One that made her so scared she wanted to cry for help. One that made her wish for someone she'd never met. Someone who she thought might do a better job than she could at helping him.

She had the strongest feeling, almost an instinct. An unavoidable future. 

If she left Kirito here, she'd never see him again.

She heard the sound of boots crunching across grass, and though the peaceful state of the sky indicated Gabriel Miller was no longer in the Underworld, she tended to err on the side of caution.

The footsteps stopped and she crouched, still, sword still sheathed but hand at the ready.

It was quiet for a moment and there was the sound of something hitting the ground.

She kept her breathing low and slow.

Then she heard the unmistakable sound of someone crying, loud, anguished enough to concern her.

_ Had someone died? _

She peeks out from behind the stone arch only to spot Kirito, her Kirito crumpled to the floor.

She almost wasn't sure to approach, she had never seen him this  _ broken _ before. She wasn't sure what the right thing to do was.

She stepped forward.

She didn't have to do anything because his own shock stopped his tears and internally she was relieved that she was still  _ enough _ . Enough to keep him here and present. Enough for him to not be completely lost in his grief.

She then thought that, she had been right, even if she didn't know it was Kirito at first. Someone had died.

"Asuna," he called, his voice cracked and lost.

She explained that of course she wouldn't leave him here on his own. And at that the tears came again.

In a way it was worse. She held him as he wailed into his shoulder. She negated every negative thing he had to say. He wasn't useless. He'd saved so many people. He'd saved Alice. But then he said something she couldn't cut through.

"I couldn't save him. I let the one person that- that mattered- Eugeo's dead. I should've died instead! Eugeo's-"

She felt as though she couldn't breathe and held him tighter.

Faintly, minutes later, "I'm sure Eugeo wouldn't have wanted that. I'm sure...he doesn't regret his choice, because you're right here. Alive."

She winced, she would have lashed out if Yuuki had actually died and someone had said that to her. And she felt tears fall from her eyes, onto her cheeks. Yuuki. How long would it be until she saw her? How long were they trapped in here?

No. She wasn't going to be trapped in this. They'd survive this, they'd  _ live, _ whether Kirito wanted to or not.

Later, safe within the walls of their new quarters at the central cathedral, she stared at him. He had barely responded aside from explaining their situation and apologizing profusely. Tiese and Ronye had tried to interact with him but they couldn't get much out of him either.

She had spoken to Liena in private. Apparently Eugeo had died mere minutes before Kirito himself went into a coma. So when he woke up it hadn't felt like any time had passed at all.

Eugeo.

Everyone had  _ something _ to say about him. Kind. Sweet. Quiet. Protective. Would and had killed for Kirito.

Every little piece she learned made her regret what had happened to him.

"Kirito?" She called, and he looked at her, at least, "Do you want to try to sleep?"

His response was soft but agreeable as she walked him over to his bed, helped him unlace his boots and remove the outer layers of his uniform, before settling him into bed.

His thank you was even softer. She paused before leaving the room, "Be honest with me. Is it safe for me to leave you alone right now?"

His expression doesn't change but he seems to be giving it true thought. The fact that he has to think so hard about whether or not he intends to harm himself scares her. Long moments pass before he answers.

"I'll be okay. Thanks Asuna."

"...Alright. I'll come check on you."

Her words are both a threat and a reassurance.

She almost thinks to take his swords with her but the memory of him cradling the blue rose sword so gently to himself stops her. He won't disrespect his memory that way. 

When she comes to wake him in the morning, he is as hard to get out of bed as normal. In sleep he looks relaxed, almost happy. He seems like he might have been dreaming even. 

The feeling of peace comes crashing down when he mumbles, "Ten… no, five more minutes Eugeo…"

Asuna has another piece, Eugeo used to drag Kirito out of bed. 

She frowns a little. She gives him a quick peck on the forehead.

He mumbles but doesn't fully wake, which means it's too close to whatever dream his subconscious is supplying.

She doesn't want to but she speaks, "Kirito! Time to wake up! You missed breakfast!"

His eyes snap open and her heart falls a little.

He looks scared and sad and disappointed. He perks up the tiniest bit when he realizes it's her and she takes pride in that.

But.

She really was hoping they weren't as close as she was starting to think they were.

She had almost lost Yuuki and it almost destroyed her. She couldn't imagine if it had actually happened.

She didn't have to imagine, she was looking at the result. She wished he could have been spared all this pain. It's bad enough if he's lost a friend and she would never be against him finding someone else, be it another best friend, the way Sinon was or another partner, the way she had found Yuuki.

But she hoped that wasn't it, that maybe he was just someone who'd made a big impression, that they didn't  _ really  _ know each other.

"Morning, Asuna."

He stretched and moved to stand like nothing had happened. 

"Kirito… about Eugeo…"

"I… wanted you to meet him."

Asuna felt herself tense with dread. But she encouraged him to continue.

"I didn't really get a chance to talk to him about anything. I...didn't want to pressure him. There was so much going on."

Asuna was a little confused. There was so much going on but according to Tiese and Ronye he always was with Kirito.

The Integrity Knights said that he fought through three of them and the Administrator, not for Alice...but to protect Kirito.

"How did you meet?" She asked gently.

"Well...when I was dropped in here, I found him in the woods...cutting the biggest tree you'll ever see. But…"

And he seemed to be thinking about what he said next, "I think it was during the tests. I spent 11 years down here. With him and Alice. And Alice doesn't remember at all. And Eugeo- he-"

"Oh. Oh Kirito-"

"No you don't get it, Asuna. I loved him!"

She burst out, unable to keep quiet anymore, "He loved you too!"

He looked at her eyes wide, all but asking  _ how would you know _ .

"I'm sure. I talked to  _ everyone _ . I was curious about your life here. About your friends. As usual, everyone is competing for your attention, by the way. But no matter who I talked to they all brought up the same person.  _ Eugeo _ . They couldn't say a word about you without him in the next breath. And he was always trying his hardest because you were there. Liena told me-"

Asuna paused as Kirito gripped her hand, shaking his head.

"That can't be true. It can't be. Because, because, he's gone  _ forever _ . He's dead. He's dead!"

"...Is he really though?"

"What?"

"I saw someone on the battlefield. Someone I didn't know, dressed in all blue, with blonde hair who held your sword with you."

"You  _ saw _ that?!"

And almost painful hope shone in Kirito's eyes, "I-I thought that was just- his sword-"

She shook her head, "I saw."

"You saw," Kirito paced across the room, reaching a gentle hand out to touch the blue sword, "And his sword repaired itself…he had fused with it before so maybe more is here...maybe our theory about the soul was right..."

Asuna let out a sigh of relief as he mumbled to himself, only to jump when his hands landed on her shoulders, "Asuna. We have a long 200 years ahead of us if we want to revive Eugeo  _ and _ get back to the real world alive."

" _ Two hundred??" _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kirito's VA outdid himself with the crying at the end of this episode. Also Eugeo saving him four times in a row. I'm glad they didn't cut any of his appearances. Excuse me I'm going to keep making every character in this mainstream series lgbtq-coded, Asuna is next.


End file.
